Friday, January 17, 2014

I am happy with my Job, but my purpose of Existence does not seem achieved

How many of us feel this way? I am hoping quite a few.
With a recent promotion , I was reflecting about has it made me happy or happier rather.
Its been the puzzle for me ever since I realized that earning money cannot be only purpose of life.

When I got into my first job, I really wanted to understand how this industry works. The initial effort of the Industry to pull me into activities like Quality Assurance or Program Management which are the stereotype roles for females in the software Industry were quelled.

At least I am happy that I struck to my stand of exploring the technology world. But once I am in and am able to maneuver and get comfortable, this alone does not seem to make me happy. I love the aspect of being able to think rationally and being able to provide solutions to problems, but sometimes it seems like common sense and nothing extravagant.

To some extent this is the crisis for so many of us who are in the initial thirties, and who are from a typical middle class of developing country like India. Our initial ambition is to have a decent education and then get into a role where we are self sufficient. A lot of my peers are very happy doing what they do and blocking more real estate and stock than they are ever going to enjoy in their lifetime. I feel good atleast about the fact that I have realized quite early that living simple life with basic amenities gives you flexibility and freedom from money-bonding.

Still this is not enough, there are miles to go before you sleep. I have given certain other things a try to see if I get a sense of satisfaction if I do something additional. The whole reason for existence of this blog is because I have always felts writing very thought provocative, reflective and self challenging. Very often when I write these small essays, I realize how a thought in the head is very easy, but how tough it is to express it and to get the right words. This has helped me appreciate the work of the authors and effectively enjoy reading. But still not enough.

I then tried to engage socially, I became a volunteer at Balajanagraha program which is about civic education for school children. For about six to eight months , every saturday we need to visit the school and engage with the kids of eight standard and share with them the challenges of urban development. A very good activity, for all those who keep thinking that after I am forty as a second job, I will become teacher , this is an eye opener. The most challenging part of this is to be able to attract the concentration of the kids for the period of one hour without having to shout, beat or scold them. We have become successful already in making sure to tell our students that good things can be enforced only with stern and strict rules. I finished the second year this time and have realized this is not it either.

Among other things I am trying is to lead a calmer life, go for  a walk. One thing to realize is that not one of these can make you satisfied, there needs to be a purpose . Leading  a life with a purpose larger than your life is what can make one satisfied, I am still searching for it and he journey will go on.......

No comments:

Post a Comment